His Arms
by QianYun
Summary: A contemplative fic in the POV of one of the Naruto characters on the significance of a shinobi's arms. Ventures into what will happen to Konoha if Naruto is gone. R


Disclaimer: Notice the word, dis-claim-er, meaning something that shows the non-possession of something. Naruto belongs to Kishimoto Masashi and all the other people who owns it.  
  
AN: This is something of a first story of mine. I've written before, but not really in this way. Anyway, as the summary says, this is a sort of a contemplation fic in the POV of someone and if you read the whole thing and still don't know who it is, it's at the very end.  
  
Warning: There are implications, large implications actually, of shounen-ai and shoujo-ai come to think of it. However, it is mainly insignificant to the whole of the story, so if you wish to and are able to ignore it, go right ahead. If you can't even handle a mention, you might want to leave.  
  
Also, this sort of rambles on, if you can't read something that's all thinking, you need to find something else to read.  
  
Spoilers to the manga, if you haven't read it and don't want to know a little of what happened, stop immediately. Although it's not really that big of a deal anyway.  
  
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His Arms --- The La/=/er  
  
His arms were dark. Different from mine. While my skin retained a pale white color, he was tanned to the point where he was almost brown. The arms that wrapped around me when I was tired, when I was in need of a hug, are the same arms that have killed many.   
  
A shinobi's arms symbolizes many things. To the world it symbolizes death. It showed the strength that they held, the strength to kill, but also the strength to protect. Walking towards me, day after day, he shows me only the arms that protects. But there are points in time when those arms are tired. Tired from the burden of being a ninja, tired of reaching out with those arms only to kill. But it did not always used to be that way. For years we lived in peace. We lived in a time when the most bloody missions that occurred were assassinations. A time when the arms of ninjas were to protect the peace by simply not killing.  
  
For him, those arms were an essential part for his life. He used them more than anything else, more than his legs, more than his jutsus. The strength he has is stemmed from the power of his arms. He uses them to protect that which he loves most in his life. His village, his friends, his leader, and me. I, like him, am also a shinobi. A shinobi of the Konohagakure. Unlike him, my strength does not come from my arms, but nevertheless, without them I am lost. While his strength lies mostly in brute force, mine lies in the power of illusions. In order to use the full potential of illusions, I need my arms, need them to create the jutsus which will unleash something of a deadly nature.  
  
Genjutsu, when used against enemies is something that could lead to their death. That is a side use of genjutsu. It is used in other ways as well, to escape from an enemy who is too great, but mostly to protect yourself and others when force does not help. But there are times when it fails, when the illusion is turned upon myself. It is at that time that my arms fail me. It is at those times that my mind wanders to the thoughts of his arms. To wonder if he would be able to use his arms to protect me once again. There are times when he is not there though, times when I needed to think of him to gain strength, but not to expect him. A shinobi has to be able to survive on their own, has to able to fight alone, live alone. Yet at the same time, a shinobi's life is full of times of teamwork. Times when teamwork is the only thing that will work. Teamwork that utilizes everything we have, the strength of everyone's arms.  
  
But that is all about times of fighting. There are many many times when there is no fighting, when there is a reprieve from the blood and illusions. At those times, I am with my students. A mismatched team, but complementary to each other. I have watched them grow, watched them learn to use their arms in the most efficient ways. I have watched them learn to protect each other and to protect themselves. There are times when I feel exasperated with them. Although they are the best students I could wish for, they are unwilling to learn to change using their own power. Somewhere deep inside them, they want to change. For most of them, it is tiny changes that they want to occur. But for one, in order to change, she must do more, much more. Unfortunately in each one of them lies the urge for everything to remain the same.   
  
The people of this village had witnessed war, bloodshed, death, but they had also witnessed peace. It is at this time that I was first given my students. They were hesitant at first, moving out into the shinobi world a step at a time. Soon, they were to be pushed out. Forced to work harder because the good things in life could not last long. War had come. There was one who had tried to push my student out. The one named Uzumaki Naruto. He did it in a way that he did not realize. He did it in a way that no one realized. No one realized, until he was gone. When he was gone, just simply gone, with no knowledge of whether he lies in life or death, the arms of the shinobi changed.  
  
Uzumaki Naruto was a child that was shunned by the villagers. Shunned for something that he could not control. But he persevered, he kept on smiling, he made the people surrounding him smile, laugh, either with him or at him, he did not mind. I was never around him for a very long time, but the times that I saw him, I saw his strength, the same strength that the all the shinobi of Konohagakure possessed. The strength that stemmed from his need to protect those precious to him. Despite all the things that he tried to do to become acknowledged, the village would not accept him. The only thing that pushed him day to day was his friends. His fellow shinobis and those speckled around the village who saw him as he was. An orphan, one who was cheerful and full of life. One who was still naive in many ways, until the day his best friend, his rival betrayed him, but even then he still held a pureness to him. They had fought, fought long and hard. What transpired between them has never been known. Even to this day, when his rival still remains, though always with a bitter feeling in the back of his mind, even when Naruto disappeared without a word.  
  
At this time, the village became quiet. Quiet, not in mourning, but quiet without the life of one Uzumaki Naruto. The streets were still rowdy, still noisy. After all, there were many times that Naruto did not walk the streets of Konoha. But now, there was knowledge that Naruto would not be coming back in a week or two, if he even returned at all. There was a slight subdued tone to the whole village. It was subtle though, to a stranger passing by, it would still seem to be a loud, regular noisy town. To those who lived there for most, if not all, their lives, there was a hush to the town. A missing presence. The villagers were confused, are still confused. They still hated Naruto simply because of the Kyuubi, but they could not shake off the feeling that there was something wrong. The lack of pranks were obvious, there were no shouts of "Naruto!!!" anywhere in the town. There was nobody complaining about something that the 'monster' had done. There was no obnoxious laugh that made everyone tense up yet relax at the same time.  
  
The greatest impact that Naruto had made was on the ranks of the ninja of Konoha. From the Hokage to the academy students, his was a presence that was definitely missed. Those who did not interact with him simply felt that everything was much quieter; for those who did, life was quieter. The first few days he was gone, many simply felt a relief at not having to deal with him. As time went by, they felt their routine was disrupted, simply because Naruto wasn't there to ruin their day. It was then that the roles of the shinobi's arms changed. There was peace, a peace that had danger lurking around the edges, but it was a danger that was expected. For that time, there was no killing. For that time, with Naruto gone, there was only comfort.  
  
Naruto's disappearance hit the small children in the schools the hardest. They were young and they did not understand. They did not understand why Naruto nii-chan was not there once in a while to make them laugh at his silliness. They did not understand why he was not there to play with them. The older kids of the academy understood. Outwardly, they had followed what their parents had told them, standing away from him, but inside, they had accepted him. They had accepted his strength, his slight stupidity, his clumsiness, his loudness. Most of all they accepted his friendship. So the arms of those that were yet to be shinobis comforted those who still had a ways to go. They were the only ones, for their parents still did not accept, still did not understand that Naruto was Naruto and the Kyuubi was Kyuubi.  
  
The teachers in the academy saw all of this. Naruto was something that they had accepted long ago. Back when he first became a ninja and started visiting to extract a few ramen meals from Iruka-sensei. For when Iruka was either not there or busy, Naruto started to play with the kids, sometimes calming them down to learn the lesson that was needed to be learned. Other times to get them excited by showing off his jutsus and telling them that if they worked hard they could do the same things and more. Naruto being there even gave the teachers somewhat of a break because whenever he was there, he had the kids' full undivided attention, not bothering to fool around. And so, the teachers saw the sadness and understood.  
  
Tsunade, our Hokage, was hit even harder by his disappearance. Even though I was not around enough to know the specifics, I saw the fondness she held for Naruto since the first day she arrived. She tried her best to be strong, but every once in a while she started to look off into space. I had heard that she lost her brother and boyfriend. Two individuals that she found within Naruto's spirit. The shinobis around her felt the absence. They had never spoken to him directly, but hanging around the Hokage gave them enough glimpses of who he was. Of the teenaged shinobi that he was. He had become the child everyone adopted within their hearts. Without knowing themselves, he took a place in their hearts as a fellow shinobi, but also as the child that they looked fondly upon. The shinobis that took field assignments, that did not see Naruto as frequently did not understand their feelings. While they tried to respect Sandaime and Yondaime's wishes, they still felt the bitterness of losing their beloved leaders.  
  
The greatest impact came from those who saw him everyday. Who laughed with him everyday, who ate with him everyday. There was no denying the lack of vitality in the teams who interacted with him daily. Each team was affected to a different degree, but still affected. Gai's team went to the extremes. In the first few days without Naruto, Lee had become subdued and confused. Later on, he tried to be as cheerful he could, trying to fill the hole that Naruto left in their lives. Neji was also confused. He did not understand the reason Naruto left. He had wanted to become Hokage, there was no reason for him to go. He didn't believe in destiny, so it was his own choice. Neji's psyche was one that I could not understand, he was distant from everyone except a chosen few. But even then, I had noticed the change in him. TenTen had not interacted with Naruto much, but seeing her teammates acting so differently was enough for her to be affected. So it was her arms that tried to comfort her teammates. And Gai...Gai tried to embrace them all.  
  
Outwardly, his team did not change much. With Shikamaru, Ino and Chouji on his team, it was hard to tell what was different. Ultimately though, they were changed. Shikamaru seemed to get even lazier, hardly moving when they met unless absolutely necessary. Ino stopped arguing with Sakura, but was always with her. Chouji...Chouji lost his eating partner for ramen. Chouji's favorite food was from the open Korean barbecue, but when he started eating ramen with Naruto, it quickly rose in his list of favorite foods. It was always more interesting to eat with Naruto. The few times my team went out to eat with Naruto's team, it was loud; loud, but fun.  
  
My team was affected all differently. Shino was like the counterpart of TenTen, he liked Naruto, but did not see him as a special friend. Kiba was the one most like Naruto and had lost his one friend that was as rowdy as him. Hinata was the most affected. However, she reacted in an unexpected way, instead of becoming depressed like she normally would have, she started to train. She started to strengthen. I had once asked her why she was working so hard. And she replied that she needed to build her strength so that when Naruto came home he would be proud. I had hesitated to tell her what I thought, but she glanced at me and said that even if Naruto didn't return, he will know. He will know that we miss him and just want him back as he is. As Uzumaki Naruto. I only hoped that he will know.  
  
Kakashi's team was the most shell shocked. It took them longer to realize he was gone and even longer to pick themselves back up. Sakura, despite her daily actions, had liked Naruto. Had started to love him as a brother. She worried, worried if it was her fault. She became frantic, moving quickly, muttering of all the things she could have done differently. It was with Ino's presence that she calmed. It's true that the best friends come from the best rivals. Sasuke was, is, someone that I will never hope to fully understand. He had abandoned his village for more power, for his past. The one thing that we knew from Sasuke and Naruto's fight after he left was something Naruto had said. He said that Sasuke left because he dreamed for his past. His dreams did not lay in what could be, but what was.  
  
When they had returned there was a flurry of action, the days following could only be described as chaos. Sasuke was back, bitter, but back. He always showed a face of resentment to the village, especially to Naruto. But when Naruto disappeared, his was the face that was most changed. After the first few days, he went on a rampage, lived life in a rage. When his rage emptied, when all the anger he hid behind was released, in his place was a scared boy who just lost his best friend. The first time he had erupted, Tsunade sent him and Kakashi into the woods. When weeks later he returned, he came back as a quiet sullen boy. The spot where they had lived was bare, everything had been turned to dust, the little things that remained where things like the stump of a tree, the fallen pieces of trees and piles of broken rock. He came back with torn clothes and broken bloody hands.  
  
It was at that time that arms that comforted came. The extreme rage that Sasuke had suffered through brought back a different child. In an attempt to cope, feelings emerged. Between the members of the 4 teams that were the closest to Naruto, relationships grew. Soon, pairings emerged, each part comforting their counterpart. The most startling pairs that emerged from this had to deal not only with their despair, but also with ridicule of their relationships. Ino and Sakura had grew closer, relying heavily on each other. Lee and Neji came together in extremes of emotions. The day that those two had come out with their relationship was memorable. They had refused to back down from the villagers scorn. But we didn't say anything, we understood that some things were just to be accepted. Kakashi and Iruka had also come together, although their relationship was almost expected. The blushing that Iruka went through everytime the older man was around was enough to tell everyone.  
  
Through it all, Sasuke had remained alone. He always seemed to be waiting for something. Even as the village began to cope, began to nudge the emptiness aside, he remained as the sad boy who was waiting for his best friend to return home.  
  
The arms of a ninja are important to everyone. From the pain it brings to the comfort it gives, without them our world will fall apart. I never really took a part of everyone's life in Konoha. I was there, but I never did anything spectacular. I was still a shinobi of Konoha, still someone who would protect the village with her life. But I saw the life in Konoha almost as a spectator, not fully taking part in the events that followed Naruto vanishing. I was there, only observing, but that was only because I already had my comfort. Asuma's arms were always around me. The arms that were so important, were with me in every step of the way. We were different, even that was evident from the color of our skin, but together, we were able to pick ourselves up from the loss of someone so important to our lives. I can only hope that by remembering him as someone that was strong, stronger than all of us in spirit, Naruto will be content. And somehow, someday, maybe he will return in to the arms of the shinobis. Into the arms of those who love him and never forget him.  
  
----Owari----  
  
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Ending Notes: I did not originally plan to have the story go this way. I wanted to write something about a shinobi's arms and their significance in battle and then in relationships, but then I added Naruto in here and it gravitated to him leaving and became way longer than it was supposed to be. Anyway, this is my first post, so I would be happy if you drop a note or two about what you think. I'm really just happy that I finally posted something else, so you don't have to, but it would be nice. And I might think of a sequel to this, with actual talking about Sasuke and Naruto. If I do write it, it'll be shounen-ai, so if want to know what happens, drop another note.  
  
I almost forgot, this is from the POV of Kurenai. The part where I was taking about genjutsu and it being turned on her was from when she met Itachi, which was supposed to be a big hint. Of course, later I talk about her team so...  
  
EDIT(6/26/04)- The sequel is to be co-written with Seito on an account by the name of Na Hoku. Did some brush ups thanks to one of my friends reading over this, I got depressed but then decided to just take her advice and see if there was anything else off. But then I realized that this was the first story I've ever written, so I left off from touching this too much. Just some grammar mistakes. But I left everything else the same. So even if this story will remain not too great, I've learned. 


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